Broken Open Read online

  She could totally see bringing her stuff out here and making bracelets all day as she listened to the water and pretended the world was a million miles away.

  He rumbled and she smiled.

  “No wonder you’re so good at sex. God.”

  He barked a laugh. “What? Is there a link between gardening and sex I didn’t know about?”

  “No. There’s a link between a man who’s undeniably good with his hands and his imagination and really good sex. Ask anyone. I’m sure there’ve been studies even. You should volunteer. Let them study you. For science.”

  He pushed to stand, heading to a nearby bush and pinching off some dead growth.

  “Are you ever still?” She eased toward him, waiting until he unbristled before taking that final step, bringing her to his chest.

  “What do you mean?” He kept his tone wary.

  “You’re very suspicious.” He frowned and she wasn’t sure why, but she was charmed, drawn closer by how hard he tried to be gruff. She petted his beard and hummed happily.

  “You confuse the hell out of me,” he mumbled and she grinned.

  “I know. I’m vexing, just like your pig. Except I have boobs. But back to you. You’re rarely still. I look at you and your life and I see a man who does more in just one part of his life than most humans ever will. And you do it on several levels. It’s pretty impressive.”

  He shook his head, as if that made her statement less true.

  “I do what needs doing. I’m not splitting the atom.”

  “Sure. If what needs doing is this garden. Or all the rescue animals you take in. Or the whole making and recording hit albums thing. Oh, or the running a ranch to be able to say ranching has been in your family another generation. I mean, most people are glad to fall into bed at night and call it a success that they managed to get through the day.”

  He pushed back and she felt that wall between them get a little wider. She’d touched a nerve and no one liked that. She understood it, but it stung.

  “I’m sorry. I wanted to compliment you but I’ve upset you.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated, emotional. He paced a little. “No, it’s me. I’m being an asshole. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

  She watched him through eyes that were as perceptive as they were full of shadows. But she held nothing back. She didn’t just look at him, Tuesday seemed to see him. That gaze wrecked him. She didn’t even see the harsh exterior he used to keep people from getting close enough to see into the darkest parts of him. She just waltzed right up to him, nose to nose, and called him out.

  It was...humbling.

  His gruff exterior didn’t hide a thing from her. Tuesday saw right to the bone in a way that only someone else who’d been out on the edge of their own inner darkness could do.

  He shook his head and turned on his heel to face her. She’d gone back to the bench, giving him space to process.

  “I have a lot of energy and keeping busy means I usually stay out of trouble. At first it was to do something else. Other than use. For about three months it’s all I thought about. Using and then about not using. Thinking about not using is a mental and emotional version of being drug sick.” He snorted. “You think about not thinking about it, practice not thinking about it so essentially the outline of your addiction becomes a giant mountain you have to hike around every fucking day until you figure out how to get rid of it.”

  One of her brows rose regally. “So that became your obsession. Fuck thinking about heroin and not using heroin and fuck being enslaved to something that had wrecked your life. Your revenge was going to be nuking that mountain you had to dance around every day.”

  He had to fist his hands to keep rooted to the spot and not stride off.

  A shrug this time as she took in his reaction, knew exactly what was happening. “So you’re thinking, what the hell does she know about it?”

  He sighed. Her honesty made it impossible to walk away and be a coward.”

  “When Eric died I didn’t get busy, I got blank. It’s a coping mechanism to trauma. Just like being really busy is a coping mechanism. Hell yes, you’re exceptional. You’re special and unique. But you’re not so freaking special you get a pass from the emotional devastation that’s the aftermath of something like addiction. Or me from my bullshit.”

  He scoffed. “I’d never compare my shit to yours. Heroin didn’t happen to me, Tuesday. I ran out after it. I used heroin like it was my fucking job.”

  “It’s not my place to give you a pass for what you did. But it seems to me, you’re harsher on yourself than anyone you hurt when you were using.”

  He didn’t speak, but she saw everything anyway. Ezra could watch her face and know everything she was thinking. It was fascinating and horrifying. He wanted to run away. Wanted to give her words his back but that would make him a liar and he was done with that.

  What could he say to that? You should have known me then? Should have known the Ezra who nearly let his mother shoot up just to get a taste for himself?

  But Tuesday wasn’t done. “So sure, you made using drugs the center of your life, but when you turned it around, you truly did that. When you turned it around, it wasn’t your job anymore. Instead of being owned by your addiction, you were done with it. You took your life back. You moved past it and you keep busy so you use all your energy in ways that don’t land you in rehab. You have a family that relies on you. Trusts you.” She looked him over. “I’d tell you that it’s been years and they’ve forgiven you and you’ve earned their trust back, but I don’t know that you’d believe me. And whatever, it’s not my job to manage your recovery. I can only tell you what I see from the outside.”

  “Most of the time people tell me what I want to hear. It’s frustrating because I know they’re full of shit. Unvarnished truths are rare outside my immediate family.”

  She shrugged. “I bet. I’m not your fan, Ezra. Though I do like your music a great deal. I’m not here for who you are onstage. Though I’d be a filthy liar if I denied how hot you are out there. I’m here for the real Ezra.”

  He was on her in two steps, bringing her to her feet as he backed her against the trunk of a nearby tree. His mouth took hers in a kiss she opened to as eagerly as he delivered it.

  She broke with a gasp when he covered her breasts with his hands. “You really do like kissing me in gardens, don’t you?”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  HE KISSED HER EAR. “I really have very little willpower when it comes to you. You look so pretty and the light hits you just right and all I know is that I want you.”

  “I aim to please,” she gasped out.

  He stepped back with a pained groan. “Inside. We could be interrupted and God knows I’d never be able to get enough therapy if my mother stumbled into this scene.”

  She laughed as he took her hand and pulled her behind him as he headed for the house.

  They managed to miss tripping on animals this time and he closed the doors in their wake to avoid having a cat jump up into bed while they were in it. He flipped on the bedside lamps because he wanted to see her as she got undressed.

  “Off. I need you naked and I’ll rip stuff if I do it.”

  She’d already got rid of her glasses, so it was one easy movement to pull her shirt off and then get back to looking at him.

  Truth was, Tuesday wasn’t sure there’d ever be a point where she didn’t want to stop and stare, openmouthed at the wonder of his body, so she didn’t even try to hide it when he started getting naked.

  “You keep looking at me like that and I’m going to injure myself getting out of my pants.” His shirt had been tossed aside, resting against hers in a far corner.

  His upper body gleamed in the low light and she sucked in a breath. “I can’t seem to not look at you like that. You’re so hard and masculine and hot. It drives me crazy.”

  She stepped to him after she whipped her bra off. “But the last thing I’d want is for a game-ending zipper inj
ury. Let me, then.”

  He held his arms wide, giving her access, which she quickly capitalized on because, hello, he was amazing and she wanted to lick him up one side and down the other.

  “Like the best present under the tree,” she said, pulling his zipper down carefully.

  His cock sprang free as she parted the front of his jeans.

  She looked up at him and he waggled his brows.

  His pants were off a few beats later, leaving him totally naked.

  “I didn’t notice the puma on your calf.”

  He stalked her to the bed where she fell back and he pulled the rest of her clothing off.

  “We only have about forty minutes until we have to be over at Paddy’s so I suggest we use our time wisely. This round I mean.” He cupped her pussy. “I’ll be back to this again later on.”

  Oh. Well she certainly had no intention of arguing with that.

  “Get to it.”

  He laughed and then before she knew it, he’d rolled her over and slapped her ass three times. Her laughter died as she realized she liked the way the burn wisped away and left a wash of sensation.

  He caressed her hips and thighs as he slid his fingers through her from behind. She pressed her face into his blankets and let herself enjoy and feel what he did to her.

  And then he was pushing into her pussy, sending all those feel-good chemicals to run riot through her system. She arched to take him deeper. Needed more.

  He put a hand between her shoulder blades to hold her in place. She squirmed a little and he lessened his pressure in response. But she wanted that pressure.

  Frustrated, she moaned into the mattress and he pulled out, rolling her over to peer into her face carefully. “Are you all right?”

  “What?” She was all confused. “Why aren’t you in me? What are you doing?”

  “You sounded upset. If I’m holding you down and you sound upset, I’m going to check in. It sort of comes with the permission to hold someone down.”

  “I don’t want to have a discussion right now! I want you in me. Thank you for checking in. I’m great. Or I was and now I’m not and you’re at fault for both those states. I can tell you which one I prefer, but perhaps you can figure it out.”

  “Why did you make that sound?”

  She lowered her lashes a little. “I liked it when you were holding me down harder. You let up a little. It wasn’t awful or anything. Just a sound because you were taking care of all other aspects of the situation. Yeah?”

  He turned her over and was back inside in half a breath. His hand at her back returned and he pushed until she groaned when he got to the place she liked it best.

  “Each.” He thrusted. “Time.” Again. “We’re.” He continued his sentence, emphasizing his point with harder and deeper presses into her. “Together and we...we do this, I want to be sure everything is all right with you. If I can’t be bothered to take care of the trust you give me, I don’t deserve it.”

  The palm at her back gave a little more weight and she groaned from a place deep in her belly. She wasn’t sure how it was she got so freaking turned on by something like that, but she was.

  He wasn’t rough so much as he was in charge. Which made her tingly—she wasn’t about to lie.

  And then he reached around and found her clit. She’d been close already, but just that last bit of direct contact was exactly what she’d needed.

  He growled and then snarled a curse as she came so hard it surprised her probably as much as it did him. She writhed, tightening around him as orgasm sucked her in and didn’t let go. His free hand ended up at her hip, holding her as he fucked into her hard and fast until he came.

  * * *

  “NOW I THINK I can handle a movie with my brother as he moons at Natalie for hours,” he murmured as he came back into the room from his bathroom. “Would you like to walk or drive over?”

  “A walk sounds nice. I wore sneakers just in case you wanted to do something active. Outside the bedroom anyway. I’m always dressed for that.”

  He whistled and Loopy trotted out the door. “She likes to walk along. I need to stop by Vaughan’s place first. I promised him I’d water his plants and check his mail.”

  It was adorable the way he stepped up to take care of things so his brother could handle his business in Gresham. She refrained from telling him so, but she thought it just the same.

  He took her hand as they started to stroll down the road.

  “I meant to ask you earlier but I was sidetracked. Mind you, I’m not ever going to voice it as a complaint to be sidetracked to have an orgasm. Just FYI. Natalie and I have been renting a house up in the mountains every May for the last few years. It’s usually a girls’ trip for my birthday but this has been such a weird and crazy spring it’s just me and Nat. Well, and Paddy. I wondered if you’d like to come up? Four days, and I know you probably have a lot of stuff to do here so I understand if you can’t. It’s on a lake so there’s kayaking and canoeing and some pretty impressive hiking trails if you’d be up for it.”

  He thought about it. Paddy would be there and there’d be sex and hiking, too. It had been a very long time since he’d done something like that with friends. “Yes, I’d like that.”

  “Yeah? You can bring Loopy if you like. The owners are dog people and in years past Jenny and Zoe have brought their dog.”

  “She’s an outdoorsy dog. If you don’t mind having her along for hikes and the like, she loves it. Though if there was a bear she’d probably try to get it to throw her a ball.”

  A romantic trip. He hadn’t gone on anything even resembling one. But he liked the idea of being out on the trail with her. He hoped she wore those formfitting yoga pants when she went hiking.

  “All right. I’ll get you all the details.” She picked up a stick and Loop nearly lost her mind with excitement. Laughing, Tuesday tossed it and the dog was a blond blur as she ran past them.

  “She’s never going to leave you alone now. You know that, right?”

  Loopy brought her back the stick, which Tuesday threw again and again as they made their way to Vaughan’s. His brother had lodged himself in Gresham as Maddie healed after she’d been released from the hospital. He was trying his damnedest to get back in Kelly’s and the girls’ lives. Ezra hoped like hell it worked out because they all deserved a happy ending.

  Tuesday played with the dog while Ezra took care of things inside.

  “I admire your positive outlook, Loopy.”

  Ezra paused at the side of the house, watching her with his dog. How people treated animals said a lot about them. She threw the stick, gently teased the dog about the slobber on it, scratched and generally was kind. He liked it and his damned dog did, too.

  Loopy already loved Natalie and Mary, but Tuesday had been in Ezra’s pack, in their house, so the dog would see her as one of them in ways she didn’t with Natalie or even Mary. He sort of felt that way about Tuesday, as well.

  Tuesday ran along with Loopy, who barked merrily as they went.

  He finally came out of the shadows and called out to them both. “Loopy, don’t get Tuesday tired. I need her later.”

  Tuesday snorted as she approached. “Everything all right?”

  He put an arm around her shoulders and they set off toward Paddy’s place. “Just fine.” More than fine, as it happened. And he planned to let it keep on in that direction.

  * * *

  TUESDAY HAD JUST finished stretching a canvas when her phone rang, indicating an unknown number. She considered not answering but did anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Is this Tuesday?”

  “Who’s this, please?”

  The woman on the other end laughed prettily and it sounded familiar enough to tug at her memory but Tuesday couldn’t quite place it.

  “I’m sorry. It’s Kelly Hurley. I got your number from Ezra earlier today. Is this a good time to talk a little business?”

  “I’m a small business owner. It’s always t
ime to talk business.” Tuesday liked Kelly so it wasn’t a hardship to have a chat. “I’m in my shop right now, though, and it’s been sort of busy today so I can’t guarantee I won’t get interrupted.”

  “Do you take lunch?”

  “I do, usually at one or so.”

  “This has to do with your jewelry. Do you have an inventory at your shop? Let me back up a second. I’d like to take you to lunch to talk about your jewelry and my business and so I’d also like to see your stuff at the same time.”

  Tuesday warmed. “Oh. Yes. Today?”

  “Yes. The girls are at school so I’ve got the time if you do.”

  * * *

  KELLY CAME IN as Tuesday was ringing someone up, but wandered through the small space until she’d found the jewelry and began to look at the pieces out on the display tree.

  “Thanks for waiting.” Tuesday turned to her once her customer had left.

  Kelly’s smile was genuine. “No problem.” She indicated the cases where the jewelry was displayed. “This is all yours?”

  Tuesday nodded, joining Kelly at the cases, circling to the back to unlock them and slide the trays holding the more pricey pieces out.

  Kelly pulled a necklace free, examining it carefully, including a look at the price tag.

  “Are you going to keep me in suspense forever or tell me what you’re here for?”

  “Come on.” Kelly put the necklace back carefully. “Let’s go to lunch and I’ll tell you what I have in mind now that I’ve seen your work.”

  “Okay. Hang on a few while I get everything locked down.”

  Soon enough they’d finished ordering their lunches.

  “What sort of inventory do you have?”

  “It depends. It’s cyclical. If I find something I like, a material or I come across some stones or beads I tend to create a number of connected pieces all at once. I just started a stall at a craft market in Portland, though, so I’ve recently stepped up production to keep pace with sales.”