Lost in You Read online

  “We’ve talked about this already.”

  “You’ve blathered on and on about how I’m William’s sister, and I’ve already told you that doesn’t matter. Not in the way you keep insisting it does.” She studied him carefully and licked her bottom lip.

  At his reaction, which was a startled sort of groan, she smiled. “You should know your resistance will only make your surrender all the sweeter.”

  Chapter Four

  Nathan strolled right into her apartment like she didn’t have a front door. “My, did we forget our manners?”

  He put a six-pack on her counter and gave her a look. “You should lock it. You’re a woman living alone.”

  “I just walked in from work about two minutes ago. My hands were full. But you’re right. If for no other reason than to keep the riffraff out.” She eyed him.

  He sighed so she decided to poke at him for kicks.

  “Do you need me to give you the talk? You know if you put your thingy in her she could get pregnant with your baby type people, right?”

  He appeared horrified and then dissolved into laughter. “God, you’re gross.”

  “Nathan, if you think it’s gross to put your thingy in Lily, you probably need a whole ’nother kind of talk.”

  He punched her arm. “Quiet, you. I wanted to thank you.”

  She smiled up at him. “For what?”

  “You’ve been really good to Lily. You know, with all the planning for the wedding and stuff. She’s got a lot on her plate and her own family isn’t much use.”

  “Sit. Crack one open.” She knew he needed to vent about Lily’s mother and that he’d never do it to Lily, who was already conflicted about the situation.

  “You know me so well.”

  “And I love you anyway.” She winked and poured some chips into a bowl, pushing it his way. He slid a beer hers and she clinked it against his. “What’s she done now?”

  “She’s probably not going to come to the wedding. Lily is heartbroken, though you know she’s trying to pretend she isn’t.”

  Lily’s mother had gone to rehab after her drinking and mental-health situation had gotten so bad she’d neglected her teenage son, and Lily had given up her life to come back to Petal to take care of things. Chris, her brother, was back on the straight and narrow once again, thriving in school. Lily’s mother had opted to go from rehab to a sober living house that was nearly four hours away.

  Beth took a deep breath, wanting to make him feel listened to, but also saying what needed being said. “She’s going to be far better able to live her life when she does come home. That’s the biggest thing she can do for Lily and Chris both.” She took a sip of her beer. “That said? I think it’s shitty she won’t even come out for the wedding. It’s one day. An important day for a woman who gave her whole life up to come back here to do her mother’s job.”

  He grumbled. “It makes her sad. I hate that. I can’t protect her from that kind of sadness.”

  Her brother had lost Lily a decade before by being a dumbass. Since she’d come back into his life and he’d won her over, he’d been very protective of her. She knew it hurt him as much seeing Lily hurt and not being able to help as it hurt Lily that her mother was MIA.

  “She knows you love her. That’s the important thing.”

  He rolled his eyes and she rapped his hand with a nearby pen. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me. Lily needs that love. She needs to know you’re there for her. And you are. That means everything to her. Her mother? Well, look, Nathan, she could be a drunk like our father and never do a damned thing. Would you rather that? She’s trying. In her own way, she’s trying to get better and come home. The recovery process takes time. She’s got a lot of shit to get over.”

  “What about the shit Lily has to shovel while she’s gone?”

  “She couldn’t handle it. Right? That’s just reality. She’s trying. Which took a lot of guts. Give her credit. I know you hate it that it’s left Lily with that burden. But in the end, her mother is trying to get herself together so that when she comes back, she can handle that burden again without breaking. She’s got to be afraid, you know? She was a mess when she went to rehab. For a woman who had as much control as Lily’s mom, facing that had to be a huge thing.”

  “Don’t take her side.” He frowned, but she knew he heard her. Knew she was right.

  “I’m always on your side. You know that. I know you’re upset. I know you want to protect Lily, and I’m all for it given how Lily is my best friend and all. And I know you came here so you didn’t spill all this in Lily’s way because she already feels enough angst, guilt and anger about it.”

  “You’re pretty smart.”

  She shrugged. “We can’t all be school teachers. But I get by.”

  “I hear you’ve set your cap for Joe Harris.”

  She groaned. “God, this town! What’s it to you?”

  “Oh ho! It’s my sister sniffing around a guy with a questionable reputation, that’s what it is to me. You don’t need that kind of trouble. He’s more man than you can handle, Beth.”

  She laughed then. “You don’t know anything about me. Not that way. If you think I’d go after some jerk like Dad, you’re out of your damned fool mind. He’s not that way. He’s a nice guy. He came back here to help his family out. He was in the army. He rescued a dog. Hardly the work of Satan’s minion.”

  He tipped his bottle. “If you say so. You have good judgment. Mostly. But if he hurts you, I’m gonna kick the shit out of him.”

  She grinned, but refrained from mentioning that Joe was like four inches taller and a solid wall of muscle. It was the thought that counted. “You’re so nice to me sometimes.”

  “I like to keep you guessing. What do you have to eat other than chips?”

  “Nothing. I was just going to eat chips for dinner. Then I had hating-myself-for-eating-chips-for-dinner on the schedule after that.”

  “Girls. Come on. I’ll take you to dinner. Lily and Chris may meet up with us in a bit. She took him to get shoes and shorts for gym class too.”

  “Why aren’t you over at Tate’s looking pitiful?”

  He laughed as she grabbed her purse. “She’s not feeling well. William and Cindy took the kids for a while. Matt is spoiling her for a few hours with a quiet house and the air conditioner blasting. That and I wanted a beer and a chat with my favorite little sister.”

  She grinned. “Nice one.”

  Her apartment wasn’t too far from their favorite go-to Mexican place. More chips, giant margaritas, the best tacos ever and, as they entered, it was dark and heavenly cool.

  “Thank God. I thought I was going to melt. My swamp cooler is ancient and it costs a million dollars to run.”

  “Days like this I think about my plan to get Lily to agree to buy a house of our own so we can have a pool. She doesn’t want to do anything like that at her mom’s place.”

  “It’s her house anyway.” Which was true. The house Lily grew up in was left to her in a trust. It had been a pretty cool thing because her father tried to pressure her mother into signing it over so he and his new and pregnant wife could sell it! Lily told them the news, told them to back off, and Beth had laughed and laughed.

  “Yeah, and you know as well as I do, she’ll never displace her mother.”

  Lily was a good-hearted person. She loved her family, and as much as Nathan was mad right then on her behalf, he wouldn’t have loved her as much if she didn’t have the same dedication to family as he did.

  Lily’s mother needed a home to return to. And so Lily would make sure that happened, no matter what.

  The server led them to a rickety little table near the back windows and they sat. She didn’t need a menu, but she did like what she saw coming in the door. She waved.

  Joe Harris looked up, startled, and then smiled when he saw her and Nathan.

  “Be nice or I will kick you in the goolies,” she said under her breath to her brother.

  “Hey. Nath
an, it’s good to see you. I wanted to thank you for the wedding invitation.”

  Nathan indicated the empty chair. “You should join us if you’re not meeting anyone.”

  Joe sat. “Thanks.”

  Nathan nodded. “As for the invite? No problem. Just get us a good present.”

  Joe laughed, and Beth wanted to hug her brother tight for being so sweet.

  “Hey, Beth.”

  She smiled, her belly filled with butterflies.

  “Hey yourself, Joe.”

  Nathan grunted. “What are you up to? Back here in town I mean.”

  They paused long enough to order and then got back to talking.

  “I took over the car-repair shop. I figure Polly Chase will keep me in business if no one else comes in.”

  Polly Chase was notorious for her horrible driving.

  Joe kept on. “Everyone ends up back here. Funny, you leave thinking thank God! And then you miss it the whole time you’re gone.”

  Joe Harris had a sweet side. Beth liked that.

  Nathan nodded, agreeing. “I don’t know that I got to that point for a few years. But by the time I was finishing up with my master’s degree, I was ready to come back.”

  “I finished my BA a year ago. Took me a million years felt like. I don’t know how you stuck it out through grad school.”

  Nathan looked up from his plate. “I don’t know how you stuck it out through Iraq.”

  Joe’s good humor disappeared for a brief time. He shrugged. “I nearly didn’t.”

  Nathan made a sound and Beth knew he regretted his comment. “I’m sorry, man. I meant to joke. But some things aren’t funny.”

  Joe waved it off. “If you don’t laugh you cry, right?”

  She wondered what the story was but didn’t press. She had the feeling it was bad. She knew it had been for so many of the soldiers who’d returned home. And for the families of those who hadn’t.

  “What did you do there? In the army I mean.” She tried not to inhale her food and scare him off, but she was hungry.

  “I was a mechanic. It was a good thing. I didn’t think so at first.” He laughed. “I didn’t have any skills. Well, not any that would have given me a job instead of time in the state pen.”

  Nathan looked to her with a smirk.

  “How long have you been back?”

  “Two years. I knew I’d come to Petal eventually. I landed in Dallas a while. Worked in a friend’s shop where I filled out my training with cars and trucks. Why did you decide to be a teacher?”

  Beth watched as Nathan and Joe talked. Nathan was an interesting man with a big giant heart. He liked Joe. She could totally tell. It was more than the fact that they’d known each other when they were young. It made her feel more comfortable around Joe, and in the end, it would help her plan as well. Nathan was a good judge of character.

  “The whole time we were coming up, there were times when I really just wanted to throw in the towel. Shit was bad at home. I didn’t have the time for homework when we were trying to survive.” Nathan ate for a while before he continued. “But those times when it wasn’t Tate kicking my butt all the way to school, it was a teacher who reached out. Who cut me some slack, or who gave me a book that inspired me, who pushed me hard to do my best. I wanted to be that for other kids.”

  Beth loved that story. Nathan, for all his jokes and that gorgeous face, was a person who wanted to give back. It pleased her to no end that he was such a great role model and such a repudiation of the people who had given them life and abused and neglected them.

  “All you Murphys have done well for yourselves. It’s nice to come back home and see your friends living good lives.”

  “Tate wouldn’t have allowed anything else.” Their older sister was far more a mother to them than a sister. She’d taken the brunt of the abuse, had skipped a lot of school to clean houses and pick up side work to keep them fed. She made sure they all went to school, wouldn’t have tolerated anything else. They had a strong family and Tate was at the heart.

  “For a gal so tiny, she’s pretty ferocious.” Joe grinned.

  “She totally is. And now that she’s got babies? Even scarier. It’s sort of awesome how people scurry out of her way when she’s on a tear.” Beth smiled, full of love at the thought of her sister. “I forgot to ask you the other day. How’s your sister?”

  “She’s good. Lives in Maine with her husband and kids. He’s an engineer. She works part time now that the kids are in school.”

  They chatted a while until Lily came in with Chris.

  Beth had eaten her fill and stood to hug her friend. “I’m off. Take my chair. Hey, Chris.”

  Chris blushed bright red and waved.

  “Let me walk you home and I’ll come right back.” Nathan stood.

  “I’m perfectly capable of walking five blocks to my apartment. It’s light outside. Also, it’s Petal.” Beth pushed him back into his chair.

  Joe stood. “I’ll give you a ride. I need to get home anyway. Buck gets lonely.”

  Nathan gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. A ride home from Joe was way better than hanging out with Nathan. She’d gotten her time in with her brother and that was great. But her plan was getting Joe alone as much as she could. She hoped Nathan read in her features that if he messed this up she’d draw on his face with a permanent marker when he was sleeping.

  Lily smiled all serene-like, reaching out to pat Nathan’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re still here, I’m starved.”

  Beth shot her a grateful look. “Appreciate the lift. At least I won’t melt now.” She bent to kiss Nathan’s cheek. “Thanks for dinner.”

  “You coming to Tate’s tomorrow?”

  “As if I’d miss dinner at Tate’s?” Her sister had a weekly dinner for their ever-growing family. All the Murphy siblings were there without fail, and quite often at least several of the Chases were there too. The yard was big, kids ran all over the place. A good time was had by all.

  “Love you.”

  She grinned. “Love you too, goofus. See you three tomorrow night.” She turned to Joe, who led the way out, his hand on the small of her back.

  His truck was at the curb. “I was hoping for the bike.”

  “You like motorcycles?”

  “I’ve never ridden on one.”

  He looked shocked. “Get out of town.”

  “I’m serious.”

  He opened her door, and she hopped up into the cab, waiting for him to come around the other side.

  “Riding on a motorcycle is one of life’s greatest pleasures, Beth.”

  “I’m on Maple. Just go up here and hang that first left.” He followed her directions. “Then to 4th, go right and right again on Maple. So you should take me then.”

  “Huh?” He’d imagined taking her a few dozen different ways over the last few weeks. And then he realized she meant the motorcycle. “Oh for a ride?”

  “Yes.”

  She smiled, and it made him all sweaty, both the good and bad kind. She was the wiliest female he’d ever met. And she was beautiful. And she had the most awesome boobs he’d beheld in several years.

  “I’m the blue townhouse. The driveway on the right is mine.”

  He pulled up and turned the engine off, and she reached for the door handle.

  “Don’t you think about touching that door.” He got out and moved around to her side to open the door for her. She hopped down.

  “Look at you with your manners and everything. I should let you know, however, that I totally have opening doors down. It’s a skill I’ve had mastered for many years now.” She fluttered her lashes.

  He snorted. “Look here, we may come from the crappy side of town, but I know how to open a lady’s door. And I’m going to walk you inside too.”

  They walked to her front door and she unlocked it. He went in first and turned to leave, but she closed the door, backing against it.

  She smiled that smile of hers, the one that made him sweaty.<
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  “How about you and me make a deal?”

  “I know I’m going to be sorry for asking, but I can’t help myself. What deal would that be?”

  “I was going to invite you to share a beer or two with me. But Buck is at home all alone so we can’t have that. So. Why don’t you run home, grab Buck and come back over? Then you can enjoy a beer and Buck won’t be lonely. Really, Joe, it’s the neighborly thing to do. Otherwise you’d be rude. That would suck.”

  He couldn’t help it, he laughed, he was so charmed. Damn it.

  But. She was a temptation. A big one. He shouldn’t have volunteered to drive her home in the first place, and yet, he’d jumped at the chance when he got it.

  This was dangerous ground. But he had no energy to stop himself from going down a path that would end in kissing those damned lips of hers.

  “You’re fascinating to watch.”

  “Huh?”

  She walked to where he stood. He told himself he didn’t move because the hall was narrow and she was between him and the door.

  She put a hand on his chest as she took him in. “Every emotion is all over your face. But I won’t poke at you just now. A man can only take so much. Or so I’m told. Go get your dog. I’ll be waiting for you.” She stepped aside, and he sucked in a breath that was heavy with her scent.

  He started to argue.

  She rolled her eyes. “Really? You know you want to. So go on now. Buck will like the company.”

  He huffed a sigh. “Probably. He likes company. Beth, you know this can’t be more than friends.”

  She raised a brow. “Oh good Lord. You’re here in my house. Not because we’re friends. You’re going to run and grab your adorable dog to bring him back here, not because he likes company. You want to be with me. You want to get to know me not as William’s sister. You’re a grown-ass man. I don’t play games. Life’s too short.”

  He stared at her. She wore a short-sleeved dress with a collar that should have made her look matronly but instead only made her look better. More feminine. Her legs were long and sun-kissed.

  Beth Murphy was flat-out beautiful. And she knew him from before.

  “You know I’m bad news.”