Lost in You Read online

She snorted, one hand on her hip, an annoyed look on her face. “I know you were bad news. I’m inclined to cut a man some slack for what he was like at nineteen. God knows William had his problems when he was that age, and look at him now.”

  “You’re very sure of yourself.”

  “I grew up in a household with a mother who threw herself at one man after the next because she has some gaping hole she can’t fill. And no, I don’t mean that to be a pun. I may have flaws, but I know my worth. I’m not desperate for a man who doesn’t want me. If you didn’t want me, you’d have left by now. Hell, you’d have said your goodbye at the restaurant and let Nathan bring me home. I’m too old and too tired to dance around what is totally clear. You’re interested in me. In my lips, which you can’t stop looking at no matter how many times you tell yourself I’m William’s little sister.”

  She sighed. “Look, go get your dog and come back here. You want to. I know you want to. You know you want to. You don’t have to marry me, for heaven’s sake.”

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  Chapter Five

  “Buck, we’re in trouble.”

  Buck looked up from where he’d been chewing on some rawhide. One of his ears flopped back as he barked.

  “It’s Beth. We’re going to her house.”

  Buck hopped up, tongue lolling, big goofy grin on his face.

  “Yeah, easy for you. But she’s my best friend’s little sister. A guy doesn’t go there.”

  Buck sighed before he snorted and walked to the door, waiting, doing that little dance of his.

  He would have spoken to Virginia about this in the past. But that wouldn’t be so easy now. First, she lived in Dallas. Second, when they’d gone from friends to lovers the transition back had been rocky and pretty much impossible.

  He’d tried to tell her it wouldn’t work before they gave in and had sex. But he thought with his dick and she was an adult and they had some chemistry. But after a few weeks it had sputtered out and they’d never really been the same.

  So he couldn’t call her to talk about another woman. Especially when what he felt for Beth was far more than sexual curiosity. He wasn’t that great at dealing with women, but he knew the one you broke up with doesn’t want to hear about how a new one is something you’d never experienced before.

  He could talk to his best guy friend. But that happened to be Beth’s older brother. Not a good idea.

  Buck barked again, scratching the door.

  “Fine. But this is your fault.”

  He grabbed a bowl and some food, and they headed back over to Beth’s.

  She opened her door with a smile and then grinned to Buck. “Come on in.”

  Joe allowed himself to take a good look. Both at her, and her apartment. It was warm. Framed pictures all over the place. This was a woman who loved people and who was loved in return.

  “Lots of pictures.” He indicated her walls.

  She nodded. “I like being surrounded by people who make me happy.” Her living room had a sliding glass door leading to a small patch of grass. She had a table and a few chairs with a big umbrella out there.

  “How long have you lived here?”

  “Um, let’s see. Three years now. I used to live in an apartment my landlord owns. I had my eye on this place a while.” She shrugged. “When it opened up I grabbed it. Tate is forever on me about buying my own place.”

  “Roots are important.”

  She snorted. “Yes. For Tate, they’re everything. Want a beer?”

  He nodded.

  “My yard is fenced if Buck wants to wander out and sniff stuff.”

  He watched as she bent to grab the beer from her fridge. His whole body hardened. Buck wandered over to see what she was up to. She spoke to him absently as she cracked the bottles open.

  He held up a bag. “I brought ice cream sandwiches.”

  Her smile shot through him, pulling him closer.

  “You did? I love ice cream sandwiches.”

  Buck barked. She frowned down at him. “Not for you, Buck. You’ll get sick.”

  He snorted.

  “He’s a pig. You can’t tell him no because he doesn’t care. I brought his bowls but I’ll keep him outside so he doesn’t get food on your floor.”

  She laughed. “Do you feed him outside at your place?”

  “No. But we have company manners.”

  She bent and pulled out a placemat. “I’ve got toddlers over here quite often. They’re worse I bet. We’ll put the bowls on this.”

  Once she’d fussed around and Buck had pigged out—and Joe and the dog both knew he’d just eaten at home—they settled in on her comfortable couch.

  She clinked her bottle to his. “Cheers.”

  “Why’d you stay in Petal?” He’d asked it so suddenly it surprised them both. “I mean, you didn’t have the best childhood here.”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t. But Petal isn’t about my parents.”

  No, but he’d noted the look in Dolly’s eyes when she’d taken Beth in. The thing about travel, even to dangerous shitholes where people shot at him all day long, was that he could see where he came from more clearly. Petal was a good place in many ways. But divisions existed. Class mainly, though certainly race as well.

  “At first? I stayed because I didn’t have the means to go anywhere else. I had an accounting job, and it was good enough to get me some healthcare and to pay rent. Tate and Anne started the salon, and they needed some more capital. I bought in. My brothers started having babies, and then I couldn’t leave or how could I see those kids as often as I want to? Tate got married and had babies and she’s…well, she’s my touchstone. I could move a few towns over. I worked in Riverton a while before I came to the shop. But…I think I stayed as a big middle finger to the people who made fun of us because of our clothes and our parents. I’m still here because Petal is my home. Jill, my youngest sister, she lives in Atlanta. She’s got a fancy life and a great job. But boy do I miss her. She’s cut out for that life. Big and exciting. Fast paced. I like it here. I like the slower pace.”

  She’d been tearing the label off her beer and looked up, her gaze locking with his.

  He wanted to kiss her really badly. Jesus.

  He sucked a few gulps of his beer down and tried to break that moment, but she wasn’t letting it go.

  “You should take pity on me.”

  She smiled. “I should? How’s that?”

  “You should stop being so hard to resist.”

  She leaned forward, placing her beer on the low table. And then she climbed into his lap, settling in, her body facing his, the hottest part of her sliding over his cock.

  “Am I then?”

  Her hair slid across his forearms.

  He couldn’t find his words, so he nodded. This close he could see the freckles over the bridge of her nose, the gold flecks around her pupil. She smelled good. Soft and sweet. Sexy.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Resist me then,” she whispered, her lips just shy of touching his.

  He barely registered putting his bottle down. All he remembered later was the feel of her as he caressed up her arms. The warmth of her skin, the weight of her body in his lap as he shifted, his hands sliding into her hair to cup her neck, pulling her close.

  And the electricity as the kiss began.

  Her taste rolled through his system, taking over, filling him with a need so sharp he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his hips, pulling her tighter against him. She moaned softly, tightening her grasp around his shoulders.

  He swallowed that moan, taking it into himself right before he left her mouth, kissing across her cheek to her ear, tasting, nibbling. Her head tipped back, and he feasted there on the tender skin just below her ear. Her breath stuttered and he smiled against her throat.

  Her fingers sifted through his hair, holding him in place. “You like what you like, don’t you, darlin’?”

  She laughed, straightening to dip and gra
b a kiss. “I do.”

  “You taste good.” He nipped her bottom lip.

  She leaned close, licking over his bottom lip. “Yeah? Ditto.”

  Beth couldn’t believe she was finally in his lap, his arms around her, her lips swollen from his kisses.

  And it was a million times hotter than she’d ever imagined.

  He smelled so good it drove her nuts. Her skin was hypersensitive. Where his hand cradled her neck, the heat of him sent waves of sensation outward. He was big and powerful, and yet the way he held her, the way he touched her was totally controlled.

  He settled into a kiss like he was on a long, slow Sunday drive. He held her exactly how he wanted her. It sent a shiver through her.

  Then he pulled her hair. Just enough to get her head back so he could kiss down to the hollow of her throat.

  She was pretty sure she’d never been so turned on in her whole life and all her clothes were still on.

  Her nails dug into the muscle of his shoulders as she writhed, grinding herself into him, needing more.

  “Hold on there, darlin’.”

  The way he said darlin’ made her all hot and needy. Hell, what he was packing inside his jeans made her needy too.

  She managed to drag her eyelids up as he pulled her upright.

  “Why am I holding on? We were getting somewhere good.”

  He laughed and she moved in for another kiss. Good God he tasted good. She squeezed her thighs to hold him in place, and he groaned, his hands sliding down to rest on her ass.

  She moved hers to slide inside the hem of his T-shirt, his bare skin taut and hot, and man oh man she wanted him naked and in her bed. She’d have to keep him there for at least a day or two.

  He hissed when she dragged her nails up his sides. “Slow down.”

  “What?”

  He laughed. “You look like my nephew when his mom tells him he can only have one cookie.”

  “I want all your cookies, Joe Harris. I want to eat them all up.”

  His pupils seemed to nearly swallow the color of his eyes. “You’re playing with fire.”

  “Thank God! I’ve been trying to get you alight for the last month. Have I not been totally blatant? Have sex with me!”

  He laughed, and she found herself on her back on her couch, Joe looming over her. She wrapped her thighs around him just in case he wanted to do something stupid like escape.

  “This is a dangerous road.”

  “That’s why it feels so good.”

  He leaned down and kissed her again. Kissed her and kissed her more. Kissed her until she was slow, drunk on his lips and the feel of his weight pressing her into the cushions.

  He was so intense. She’d never, ever in her whole life felt this on fire. On the verge of something she couldn’t define. He was big and bad and totally masculine. It was the hottest thing ever. She burned for him.

  He tore his mouth away from hers, chest heaving as he caught his breath. “I haven’t even taken you on a date.”

  She grinned. “Did this just occur to you? Shouldn’t you be thinking about, you know, other, better stuff?”

  “We’re moving too fast.”

  She heaved a sigh. Annoyed, she reached down between their bodies, grasping his cock through his jeans. He pressed into her hand and she squeezed enough to get his attention. “This doesn’t think so.”

  “That is not the smartest part of me.”

  Beth couldn’t help it. She started laughing. “Why are you so miserable? Jeez. Am I hideous? Does my breath taste like cilantro?”

  Buck showed up, putting his face on the couch next to her face. “See, even your dog thinks I’m awesome.”

  “You are awesome. You’re beautiful and you feel really, really good. And I’m an old guy with a bunch of jagged bullshit in my head, grease under my nails that I’ll never get rid of and a bad reputation. And I want to fuck you so hard you have trouble sitting down for the following day.”

  A flush went through her at the rawness of his words. “Wow. My hand is on your cock. I am not pure and virginal. I am just fine with you fucking me so hard I need Epsom salts.”

  He sat up with a groan, and she couldn’t take her gaze from his crotch for long moments. She wanted some of that.

  “You deserve someone better. Someone who is gentle. Who doesn’t look at you and want to rut.”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake. Save me the bullshit.”

  His eyes widened.

  “I’m not an idiot. I’m not innocent. I know what I want. I’m a grown-up. I want you. My God, I’ve been chasing you all over town for the last month. You can’t lead me on like a…a clit tease! That’s what you are. I demand you satisfy me sexually.”

  He groaned and then burst out laughing. “I am in such trouble.”

  “Not really. I mean, unless you have a punishment thing. I could probably work with that.”

  He blushed. “No! Not like that. You’re really perverted. It’s a good trait.”

  “So can we stop talking and get back to what we were doing?”

  He pushed up from the couch and began to pace. She frowned at the sight. “I have a lot going on right now.”

  “Not as much as you could.” She scratched Buck’s ear.

  “You’re not helping.”

  “Should I be? Just say it. Are you with someone? Married? Engaged?”

  “And if I was?”

  “Then we’d have to be just friends. I don’t fuck around with other people’s men.”

  He paused and she felt sick. First that he was taken and she wanted him so bad. Then that he’d done all that with her and he had someone else.

  “I’m not. Married or engaged, I mean.”

  She got up and stalked to him, poking his chest. “You’re an asshole. You scared me. What is your deal? You want me. I know you do.” She grabbed his cock again. “This stuff about me being too good and your friend’s little sister is just dumb. You’re a big boy.” She paused, smiling even though she was annoyed. “A really big boy. And I’m an adult. You’re not a virgin and neither am I.”

  “I’m sorry.” He turned to her, pulling her closer. “My father…he’s not well. I’m trying my best but I’m not…I don’t have the time for anything deep. You’re not a fuck ’em and walk away type of woman. And not because you’re William’s sister. I like you. But I can’t give you anything. Not right now. I’m drowning in all the things I’m responsible for as it is.”

  He had to go and be vulnerable.

  “Okay, how about this.” She led him back to the couch and sat with him. She handed him his beer. “I don’t want anything from you but what you want to give. Take from me what I’m offering. First that’s friendship. You can talk to me if you like. Second, that’s some action in a naked, sweaty type way. I don’t need to be taken care of. I don’t think you’re a cad but if you’re with me, you’re not in anyone else’s bed. I don’t need you to sing me to sleep every night. I don’t need a ring. I pay my own bills. I own a business and have a life. Being with me doesn’t have to mean anything more than enjoying our time together.”

  “I tried the friends-with-benefits thing. It didn’t end well.”

  She laughed. “Dude, I don’t want a friends-with-benefits thing. You and me? If we get naked and horizontal? We’re in a relationship. I’m not saying I want your ring. But the fuckbuddy thing never works. Well, for you all—meaning boys—it does. But I know my strengths. If you were out there banging other women, I’d be miserable. I don’t need to be with you every minute of the day. You’re busy. I’m busy. But when we’re not busy with other people, we can hang out.”

  He gave her a look. “This is the weirdest conversation I’ve had in a long time.”

  “You’re from the South and you’d say that? Pfft.”

  He laughed. “Okay. How about I take you out on a real date? Like to a movie or something first?”

  She was in his lap again, Buck barking happily in the background. “Are you worried for your virtue?�
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  “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

  She kissed him quickly. “Yeah. I’m one of a kind.”

  She was. Damn it. He never should have agreed to any of this. But it was a way he could have her. And he really wanted her.

  “It’s Friday night. Why don’t we go to the Tonk and dance?”

  “No. It’ll be noisy and full of people I try to avoid on a daily basis.”

  He kissed her chin. “How about a bike ride then?”

  Her frown changed. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I haven’t had much of a chance to ride lately. Because you’re such a horny woman, I only had two sips of my beer. We’ll go for a long ride. I’ll put a blanket in the saddlebag and we can make out under the stars.”

  “You’ve got a deal.”

  Chapter Six

  He wasn’t sure why he wanted to do a date type thing instead of fucking her right then. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. He wanted to get her naked so much his hands had shook.

  Joe couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted something so much. Especially something so fine as Beth Murphy with her bawdy mouth and her wise eyes. She’d seen a thing or three. He knew it because they had come up together.

  She’d had it worse at home. He’d been poor too, but she’d been…worse. Her house was a battleground. A sick trash heap of abandoned hope. Of the bottle, of fists and angry words. He didn’t know the whole of it, the details. But he understood enough, even from the outside.

  Joe carried around a lot of rage. So much that he choked on it every day. But she didn’t appear to. And of the two of them, she deserved to far more.

  William had darkness inside him. He and Joe had been close enough to have gotten into more than a few fights together to blow off steam. He still had it, Joe could see, at the edges, though he now had a family, which had clearly centered him.

  Beth though, Joe wasn’t sure how she’d managed, but there was no anger there. No darkness that he could see. She was irreverent. Funny. Smart, especially about people. And dogs. But the hardness her mother had, the anger of her father, seemed to be absent.

  She was beautiful and special, and while he couldn’t give her the sort of relationship she deserved, he could give her a little bit of time before he tore her clothes off.